The big event is coming to a theater near you soon. “Melania,” the movie, will be opening in theaters this coming Friday, January 30th. And in 27 countries!
So momentous is this event that our very president blanketed Davos this past week with promotional materials hyping the premier as he spewed his usual invective to world leaders
In fact, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos is the person who financed this $40 million bomb because he’s so in admiration of the First Lady and her husband, right? Or maybe he’s currying favor with the Big Guy so the prez will favor Amazon when it comes to passing key legislation that could hurt or help his company. My money is on the latter
Clips of this movie/documentary are not available for viewing to create buzz around this incredible event. Bezos has spent $35 million advertising this fiasco. Melania is going to ring the bell at the New York Stock Exchange on Wednesday to bring more attention to the film’s opening
I’m sorry, but I take a dim view of all this. Hyping it as anything but the vanity film it surely is strikes me as akin to espousing the nutritional value of cotton candy. Who is Jeff Bezos kidding?
Why not just hand Trump $75 million in hundred-dollar bills and avoid embarrassing the wife, who at this point doesn’t even live with him at the White House?
Whatever you think of Donald Trump, I think you’d have to admit that Melania is not a person of note. Her only accomplishment that I can discern is managing to marry into a pile of money.
So maybe golddiggers might be interested in seeing the movie to get some pointers. But beyond that exclusive crew? I can’t see anybody paying even the discontinued penny to hit AMC for the preview.
Exactly which social set would ooh and ahh if you told them, “Hey! I went to the first showing of Melania’s movie. Envy me!” I won’t respond to my own question.
Let me be clear that I don’t hate Melania. I mean — who hates a mannequin? That would be weird.
Still, this event does speak to me. And it tells me, “The country you were born and live in has turned to shit.”
When a corporate kingpin spends $75 million on nothing to curry the favor of a dirty businessman, I know we’re circling the bowl and headed down the hopper.
I sincerely hope that, as predicted, this cinematic effort bombs historically and sends Melania limping back to Mar-a-lago, where she should stay for the next three years.
Melania! You’ve done your thing. You came to America and married into money. While some would consider that a huge accomplishment, it’s not worthy of a bio/doc/movie.
Go swim in the pool. Or play a round of golf. Or get some more plastic surgery. Spare us your movie-making creativity. Nobody with half a brain is buying this. You can’t be serious.